I guess I don't mean a thing anymore.
(Wednesday, 18 July 2012 @ 17:18)
Funny how I still care about you so much, when you have already replaced me—as a best friend. It's crazy—me still wishing that you would let me care for you. It's like everyday I still want to know how your day was. I still want to remind you how much I love you every night no matter how tiring/rough or hard the day was. and if you had a bad day I want to be the one cheering you up, if you're having a sore throat I still wanna make honey water for you. If you need help with studies I want to be the one beside you helping you. I want to be the one that makes you smile—not just the one on your face, I wanna make your heart smile, and feel glad. I still wanna be the first person you think of in the morning, the last person you think of at night. I want to be that special someone that brightens up your day no matter what. I wanna be the one to send you home. I want to be the one that you love, the one that you remind that you love no matter what time of the day it is. I want to be everything.
But you found someone new to go home with, someone that could follow you home all the way anyway. I don't know whether to be happy or sad, but I guess it's both. Happy that you found someone better than I am, someone that is everything that I couldn't be. Someone that you want to be there for, someone you feel that's worth it. Someone new that you'd get jealous over. But sad that you managed to replace me, and it has only been less than one month.
But I've got to be glad. Glad you're happy without me—happier.
It's like I want to let go because you've found your own happiness, but I can't seem to let go because my heart keeps telling me you're the one for me. I don't wanna let this whole thing affect my studies but I just can't help but think of you, of everything that we had.
But all that's dead and gone and past.
And I don't mean a thing to you anymore, not even worth an SMS now. Never gonna be good enough for you. Never was. Never am and never going to be.
